There you stand in your beautiful confusion. Over thinking the signs that read with clear letters. Consumed by the opinions of those who will never walk a day in your shoes. Concerned for those who refuse to live their own life. Intimidated by those who only come offering love. Close your eyes, my friend, and begin to see with your mind. You see, you hold the key– you just need to find the lock.
I wish you could hear your voice when you speak. How I can feel your smile through the phone when you share details of him. You giggle like you did in your grade school youth. I can swear you’re tilting your head and holding your hand to your face, even though I can’t see you. Your stomach fills with the joy you feel just from replaying a conversation. And yet you imply questions as to whether this is good for you?
I recall how I imagine your brow so furrowed that it cracks your tone when you share your concerns of what was. The answer so clear, if only you would take off your goggles of over thinking.
I listen to you as you tear yourself down for the wrong doings of others, how fiercely you defend your own miscalculations. I want to grab your face, look in your eyes (as you inevitably pull away) and tell you you’re worth a damn. Tell you that your life matters too. Tell you that you let fear lead the path down the most traveled. Tell you that your personality is rare, and you’re wasting your tenacity by succumbing to the pressures of your elementary peers.
I see you standing still while others move fast around you.There you are tightening your chain every night, shackling yourself to your past. You’re a pack leader, so why are you standing at the back? When will you learn the grass is greener where you water it? Forcing yourself in a place where you’re deprived of the sunshine hurts you and everyone you’re “protecting”.
Stop saying what if and let be what will be. Unpack their burdens from your shoulders and stand tall again. It pains me to see you break your back so they can live in perfect health. Can I ask you a question? What have they done for you lately? What has the stress of holding them above water pushed you to do that you regret? Are you your best self? How long can you keep this up? Will they be there to carry you once you inevitable collapse under the pressure?
“Just do it”
“Solo” by Oh Wonder